2 May 2003 (30 Nisan 5763)
The (first and) last academic year I taught general linguistics was the year 1994/1995 at a certain private university in Osaka. Unfortunately, I could not continue it for a personal reason. In this academic year, which started last month, I started teaching this subject after nine years at another private university in Kyoto thanks to the recommendation by a certain linguist with whom I studied at the same department of linguistics in Japan.
When I taught this subject nine years ago, it took me a whole week to prepare one 90-minute lecture as I had to decide what to include/exclude first, then collect materials. This time the materials I prepared then and have kept until now are saving me a lot of time although it nevertheless takes me much more time to prepare for teaching this course than for teaching languages. In spite of this extra time I have to invest, I have to say that this introductory course in general linguistics has turned out to be the most interesting and rewarding for me of all the courses I teach this year, probably for the following two reasons.
The first possible reason is that this is a lecture and not a language lesson. Although the former can be less interactive than the latter, it requires more intellectual efforts on the part of both teachers and students. Therefore, it gives us a stronger sense of accomplishment and satisfaction when the material being studied is (more or less) successfully conveyed from the teacher to his or her students through as much interaction as possible.
The second possible reason is the nature of general linguistic per se. Although most students have already studied the grammar of Japanese and English in high school in a rather mechanical and unsophisticated way, the subject as is presented as a university course is almost totally new to them. For the first time, they discover that human languages in general and their native language in particular function in a much more ordered way than they thought. It is always pleasant to find their faces beaming with intellectual pleasure at the time of such discovery. At the same time, while sharing what little knowledge I have about the structure and function of human language, I wonder anew how fascinating it and the discipline that study it are. I hope I will be able to convey this fascination of mine to my students. I believe that teachers who are not fascinated by what they teach cannot and should not teach it.
9 May 2003 (7 Iyar 5763)
I have to spend about 11 hours every week commuting to and from three universities in Osaka and Kyoto where I teach four days a week. Rush hours in the morning and evening are said to be unbearable and inhuman in the Metropolitan area in Japan, but here in Kansai area they seem to be less inhuman. As far as I am concerned, I can even sit down most of the time because I get on the train at a terminal station in Kobe.
This makes the train a moving workplace for me as I can open a notebook computer or a big book on my lap. 11 hours are more or less equal to one and a half workday, and are too long a time to waste sleeping as many commuters do even on their way to work in the morning though I also sleep from time to time on my way home when I am really exhausted physically after teaching.
I can even go so far as to say that the train is the most efficient workplace for me. Strangely, some of the best ideas that have ever occurred to me occurred in the train, and I seem to be able to work more efficiently in the train than anywhere else, including my apartment equipped with all the necessary books. There are probably three reasons for this. First of all, the constant move of the train leads to the constant move of one's body, which in turn stimulates one's brain. This seems to have been verified both empirically and scientifically if I am not mistaken. Secondly, there is an appropriate amount of tension in that I am potentially watched by other people, so once I start working in the train, I do not find it comfortable to be lazy as I often am at home. Thirdly, the awareness of a limit to the time spent in the train seems to help one work efficiently so that one may finish something in this limited time.
Even this efficient workplace is not free from problems. Probably the biggest problem is noise. What I mean is not the noise of people speaking with their friends or coworkers or even on the cellular phone but the noise of meddling announcements coming from the loudspeakers of the train. I used to try using earplugs and complaining to the railroad companies, but neither of them has helped me a lot. In spite of this problem, however, the train still remains my favorite workplace. If I should get bored with my work, I can also watch the verbal and nonverbal behaviors of other commuters for a change.
16 May 2003 (14 Iyar 5763)
Around noon today I received from my mother a telephone call I had been most afraid of. My grandmother, with whom I had spent the first 18 years of my life, passed away this noon at the age of 95. I am too perplexed to write anything...
23 May 2003 (21 Iyar 5763)
I came back to my apartment in Kobe this morning after spending one week at my parents' house in Akita, where my beloved grandmother (my mother's mother) passed away last Friday at the age of 95. During these seven days I have experienced various things in the funeral and several events and incidents preceding and following it, and have learned a number of important lessons of life. This is probably her last present for me (and probably for the other family members).
Having born and raised in poverty, she could not even finish an elementary school. So she was almost illiterate, but she was very eloquent. Although her eloquent words were often quite harsh, she was trusted and relied upon by many people who came to know her as they probably sensed that she had good intentions. She lost not only her husband but also her first two daughters (my mother's elder sisters) in her thirties. In spite of this and other hardships resulting from it, she remained very optimistic, always smiled and made others laugh until her last days.
Although I spent quite a long time with her, I knew her only as a grandmother. Many of more than 300 people who came to pay her the last visit told us how they had been helped by her in times of trouble, and through these stories I could reconstruct, though rather fragmentally, her life not only as a grandmother but also as a relative, neighbor and friend. I feel that she has shown me that the noblest thing one can leave behind after one's death is a good memory/name that results from good deeds one did during one's lifetime. I have lost not only my dear grandmother but also a precious teacher of life. May her memory be blessed.
30 May 2003 (28 Iyar 5763)
It seems that the loss of our grandmother is strengthening the mutual understanding and bond of the bereaved family members, i.e., my parents, sister and myself. Probably inspired by the unknown stories we heard about her from people who came to express their condolences, we have started to tell each other our respective childhood experiences, including traumas.
It was especially meaningful for me and my sister to hear for the first time about some profound childhood trauma from which my father has been suffering until this very day. As we never thought of it, it was also shocking to hear it, imagining how much he must have suffered. We also felt sorry for having criticized his certain behaviors, which are apparently the results of this childhood trauma.
What he did to try to overcome the trauma was to transform it into a positive energy to excel in the occupation he chose and prove to those who mocked him that their mockery was unjustified, and I am proud to say that he has been successful in his accomplishment. I can understand this feeling of his as I myself tried to encourage myself this way to get over a certain humiliating public insult I got in my junior high school days.
I hope that having shared the story of his childhood trauma with his children, my father is feeling much better now, especially because he knows that we understand him much better. Now I and especially my sister are trying to help him solve the cause of this trauma.